How Not to Get a Job

23 March, 2010 at 8:44 am (SuperGay, This Can't Be Good)

This was too good not to share…

A friend of mine was interviewing people for a position in his department at work. He had an interview with one person – and two days later got the following email from that person, via facebook. (note: names have been redacted, and I asked my friend’s permission before I posted this)

Hello Xxxxx!

This is Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxx from XXX, we met the other day in the interview. OMGoodness, you know my dear friend Xxxxx Xxxx!!! She was my bestest friend while I was in college… then she had to go and move away ; (

NO, I’m not a stalker, I was talking to Xxxxx the other day and mentioned your name because of the interview and we discovered that you guys are friends.

You and your partner look really good together!!! So handsome. I am gay too, so I just wanted to say….gay high five, and keep up the good work! Gay America needs many more talented, intelligent, super cute representatives!!!!

Enjoy your day!

So kids, let me help you learn what not to do when you want a job:

1. Don’t play the gay card (or the race card, or the religion card, or any other card). You can bond over alma maters, fraternities/sororities, or hometowns. Anything else is pretty much off limits.
2. Don’t email your interviewer on facebook (or any other venue) in a casual, “you’re my new BFF” way. Trust me: he’s not.
3. Never, ever use the phrase “OMGoodness”

And what of the emailer? Let’s just say it really stacked the deck – in the other candidate’s favor.


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Keanu Reeves is Immortal

1 December, 2009 at 3:13 pm (Miscellaneous, Strange Stuff, This Can't Be Good)

So there’s a new theory going around the interwebs: that Keanu Reeves, beloved film actor, is actually immortal. Or maybe a vampire. Or maybe both. The proof? Well, here’s part one: Keanu from 1994 looks essentially the same as Keanu from 2008:

But wait! There’s more! Keanu also bears an uncanny resemblance to this man, French actor Paul Mounet, who died in 1922:

I know! Shocking!
And people are going all out with this theory. First, this [short] video:

And then there’s the post by this guy, about how not just Keanu Reeves, but two other actors from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, are also immortal! Of course, George Carlin actually did age, and also died recently (OR DID HE?!) – but who’s counting? Honestly, at first I thought this guy’s blog was a joke, but he seems to be taking it verrrrry seriously. Bogus, indeed.

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Things You’d Rather Not Happen on the Train Ride to Work

24 June, 2009 at 11:04 am (Miscellaneous, This Can't Be Good)

This morning started off so-so. I had one of those unfortunate incidents where you get to the platform right as your train is pulling away. No biggie; this is what headphones are for. So I listen to “This American Life” and wait. And wait. And finally, a C train comes.

I get on the train for my (normally) short commute to work. The episode of TAL was finished, so I moved on to playing Tap Tap Revenge (there should be a whole other blog about that game; it is awesome). Problem number one comes when we get to 72nd Street: we sit at the station forever. Do I care? No. I’m tapping away to “Tripping Billies” (seriously, this is the best iPhone game ever). We finally move…and end up stopped on the tracks between the 72nd and 59th street stations.

At this point, something occurs to me. A couple of days ago, as we all know, was that horrible Metro accident in DC, wherein the front car of a moving train rammed into the last car of a stationary train. So as I’m sitting in the last seat of the rear car of an unmoving train – I realize that this is probably not the smartest place to sit. Whoops.

The train finally starts moving again, and we get close to 59th Street. I’m engrossed in my game, but then realize I smell smoke. Quite a bit of smoke. And I am now thinking not “um, this train could totally be rear-ended” but have moved to “oh crap, I think the train is on fire.” Turns out I was wrong – the fire was actually at 59th Street. We stopped at the station, and it was creepy: firefighters and police officers walking around, but other than that the station was EMPTY. (note for those that don’t know the NYC subway system: 59th Street on the A/C/B/D/1 lines is typically really busy, especially during the morning commute). The conductor of the train told us that the train was halted due to “Smoke and police activity at the station”. Riiiight. Still no clue what happened there.

But I finally made it to work. Safe and sound, though it took me 35 minutes instead of my usual 15. At least I got to the office before 10:00.

Though I think from now on, I’ll be sitting towards the middle of the train.

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So THAT explains it…

2 April, 2009 at 9:04 pm (This Can't Be Good)

Certain mental functions start to dull as early as age 27, new study finds

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This Guy is “Special”

16 March, 2009 at 2:56 pm (Funny Stuff, SuperGay, This Can't Be Good)

Okay, normally I would not post a video of such a nerdy guy…land this guy is PAINFULLY nerdy. It’s too easy of a joke; it’s trainwreck-bad. You want to turn it off, but you just can’t… Anyway, I’m posting because this guy is going on about how homosexuality is wrong (note: Leviticus only talks about men, so I am guessing lesbians are a-okay?)…and then segues into a bit about how he’s going to stop online-dating, and just hit on women in person, with tips from a book he read that was written by a kid. Really.

If being heterosexual means that I could date hot men such as this…well, I’ll stick to the ladies, thanks 🙂

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What Are the Lady-Golfers Supposed To Do?

11 March, 2009 at 2:50 pm (Funny Stuff, This Can't Be Good)

from failblog

Also, I have two blogs just waiting to be written, about my trip to Florida, and Robert’s birthday. They’ll happen. Someday.

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There are no words

27 February, 2009 at 11:10 am (Food, This Can't Be Good)

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Bobby Jindal = Kenneth the Page

25 February, 2009 at 1:21 pm (Funny Stuff, Politics, President Obama, This Can't Be Good)

Okay, I’m a busy girl at work today and so I haven’t yet blogged about Obama’s speech to the joint session of Congress last night. I honestly don’t know that I will…so quickly, I will say that I thought it was fantastic (big surprise there), and was impressed at the number of Democrats and Republicans that applauded during the speech (these things are usually more party-centric, or so I’m told; I haven’t been able to sit through one since around 2001. Not because I refuse to listen to Repubicans – but I couldn’t STAND to watch G.W. talk. That smirky, shit-eating grin! But I digress…)

Last night, the GOP response was given by Bobby Jindal. Now, I don’t know much about Bobby Jindal, other than he is the governor of Louisiana and has had his name thrown around as a possible candidate in 2012. But last night? Definitely not the best response ever. Perhaps it wasn’t a true reflection of himself or his typical style… but yeah, not great. But what I didn’t even pick up on, until it was pointed out today at HuffPo, is how much he sounds like Kenneth the Page (from the show 30 Rock). Check it out for yourself!

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OMG! Is my man gay??

23 February, 2009 at 4:11 pm (Funny Stuff, SuperGay, This Can't Be Good)

Okay, so you know how Google automatically populates ads on websites? Ads it thinks will be applicable to you, given what page you’re on? Well, earlier I was reading an article on the International Herald Tribune’s site (that’s the global NYT). The article was about how more people go to evangelical churches when the economy is bad. Anyway, to the right, I see this Google-sponsored ad:
Is Your Husband Gay? Test Your Husband with this quiz & see if he is gay or not
With a link to this quiz included.

Okay, so the fact that this ad was linked to this article in particular was pretty funny – but the fact that the quiz even exists to begin with is fairly hysterical. I immediately shared it with Lyndsie, one of my favorite straight marrieds, and she took it for her husband. She doesn’t know if he’s gay or not (you have to share your email address to get the results, and she said no way. Smart lady.). But the questions and answers…my god, they’re hilarious. Like this one:

Which of the following compliments is your man most likely to give you?

_You smell good
_You look beautiful
_I’m lucky if he notices me
_Those shoes really set your whole outfit off
_Nice shirt
_Is that shirt from Prada’s spring line?
_I would look so great in your blouse

So cliche! So faaaaabulous! Really, you should go through the test just to see the questions and answers they give. It’s a riot.

And in my opinion: if you have to take an online test to find out if your spouse is a closet homo, there is something already really wrong with your marriage. Just saying.

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Sitting, Waiting, Wishing in Phoenix

12 February, 2009 at 8:21 pm (This Can't Be Good, Travel)

So last week I was in Chicago…

Surprisingly close to BoysTown

Surprisingly close to BoysTown

…and this week my job has brought me to Phoenix. It’s been a quickie trip, so not much to report – except that apparently NYC had crazy winds today (confidential to NYC: 35 mph would be considered a light breeze in Stillwater, OK), so my flight is delayed. 3 1/2 hours delayed. On the plus side, this airport has free wifi! Shocking. So, here I am. Highlights from the trip:

– our hotel was near our office, both of which are in a nice part of Phoenix. However, this was next door to our hotel:

This makes me giggle; I have the maturity of a 12-year-old.

This makes me giggle; I have the maturity of a 12-year-old.

– Phoenix is surrounded by mountains, and you could see them from our office here (which, by the way, is MUCH nicer than our home office in NYC).

These looked closer in real life. And the building didn't seem so obtrusive.

These looked closer in real life. And the building didn't seem so obtrusive.

– Phoenix doesn’t do daylight savings time, so it doesn’t get dark til after 7:00 in February (!). Also, it’s really warm here. (Deserts! Who knew?) It wasn’t too warm while I was here – in the 60s; it was actually warmer in NYC yesterday. However, it IS already springtime here!

This was taken from a cab.  Not that you needed to know that.

This was taken from a cab. Not that you needed to know that.

So that’s that; in 6 1/2 hours (fingers crossed!) I’ll be home. For now, I’ll drink my overpriced beer and count down the minutes…only two hours to go…

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